Putting myself out there

I've always been a private person when it comes to work — in person and online. My private Instagram is full of travel photos and pictures with friends, and I love that. But work? I keep that to myself.

I don't like being the centre of attention and even though I love to talk about things related to my work/industry, one of the questions I hate answering the most is the famous "what do you do for work?" when I'm meeting someone in my personal life. Why? 1. No one ever understands what I truly do. 2. It not only feels performative but people tend to think I'm so much better than what I feel I really am.

For all these reasons, sharing what I do for work feels very uncomfortable to me — online or in real life.

The irony is that I consume this kind of content constantly. I spend a bunch of time watching people build things in public — talking through their process, sharing what they're learning, being honest about what's working and what isn't. I love it. That's why I built Loomi. I was saving so much of that content, because it is truly so helpful to see others build online and learn from them. I've even tried to do it myself. I just could never get there. Too reserved for that and not there yet.

However, this year I wanted to move forward with a goal I've had since I can remember and I couldn't keep being uncomfortable with exposure and expect to reach it. One of the most important things to achieve this goal is being visible and showing the work.

So when I was selected to demo one of my AI agents at AI Innovation Day by Unicorn Factory Lisboa, I knew it was exactly the kind of opportunity that mattered. People around me were excited for me, congratulating me. And my first reaction, honestly, was dread. Not excitement — dread. I didn't want to do it. I was going to do it because it was good for my goal, not because it felt good.

Which, looking back, is a little ridiculous. It was a great opportunity regardless of any goal. But that's where my head went.

I rehearsed all morning with my best friend. I got on stage and was visibly shaking. I finished a slide too early, realized mid-sentence I wasn't done, and had to go back. I got through it. People reacted well — it was a cute moment — but it was still one of the most uncomfortable things I've done.

After, people asked where they could see more of my work. I had nothing to send them.

That's when I stopped waiting for it to feel comfortable and started building this website instead. I'd tried before — several times over the years — and always stopped. Something always felt off. Too much like marketing myself, not enough like actually showing anything real. But the work I'm doing now is different. I build things — products, systems, automations — and it turns out showing what you built is a lot easier than talking about what you do. It becomes about the thing, not about you.

Alongside showing my work, I also wanted to show a little bit of myself and the person behind the work. I really like writing — I find it very relaxing and a great way to put myself out there without being too loud about it. That's why I created the writing tab: I write about work, things I build, things others built that I find incredible, and a little bit about myself and my life.

The copy took weeks. The website itself I built on a weekend, but the copy I was extremely particular about — the way I sounded, the way I was portraying myself.

That's what putting myself out there actually looks like for me at the moment. Not effortless. Not natural. Just deciding that what I want to achieve matters more than the discomfort I'm feeling and, like everything else, I know the more I do it, the less uncomfortable it will feel.

- Mariana